Marriage Therapy is an exciting and challenging field of work. With fourteen years clinical experience in marital counseling I am more optimistic than ever.  I have seen many couples overcome their problems, improve their marriage, and become better husbands, wives and parents.  Celebrating sixteen years in my own marriage, I am keenly aware of the challenges and trials that married people encounter.  Add children, parenting, work and home management to the mix, and there you have it – myriad opportunities for personal growth and change!

I believe in the resilience of marriage; that married couples are brilliant at solving the riddles and challenges facing their lives. 

There are times, however, when a couple or family face unexpected or unknown challenges and need outside counsel.  There is no shame in counsel as Proverbs 11:14 reminds us:  "Victory is assured with many advisors."  Perhaps an undesired behavioral pattern, or issues with intimacy, communication, or to simply to re-vitalize the marriage relationship.  My job is to walk with couples and help them create positive movement and permanent change in their relationship. 

I use everything learned in my academic, clinical and personal experience to help couples optimize their marriage and realize their personal goals.  Together we work hard, we have fun, we pray, we agonize, scrutinize, strategize and get the job done.  My reputation is one of hard work, common sense, figure out the truth and orchestrate solution-based strategies to achieve permanent change.  There is no "cookie-cutter" approach to marital therapy.  Experience has taught me to recognize some common and not-so-common patterns that can inadvertently harm a marriage.  I am not afraid to use humor and laughter when appropriate – not sarcasm, however.  But sometimes it helps to laugh in the midst of suffering when we can! 

A synopsis of my marriage philosophy follows:

When two people join together in marriage a "new creation" is formed.  If allowed, God actively becomes an intrinsic part of that marriage.  "Becoming one" involves more than joining two names together or forming a physical sexual bond.  Oneness involves the joining of spirit, soul and body.  If any one of these is missing the marriage relationship suffers.

Successful marriage environments are grounded in kindness, safety, and trust – all elements of genuine love.  When disrespect, fear, or unresolved issues invade a marriage, love is at risk and must be preserved to sustain the core relationship.  All marriages undergo changes and challenges from time to time, but couples who do not purposefully engage these opportunities run the risk of their love growing dim.  Or worse, a dying or dead marriage in one regard or another.

Highly effective marriages allow the freedom to be who you are within the safety and acceptance of a loving and committed relationship.  This type of freedom requires maturity and trust -- and work.  Marriage must be sustained, protected and nurtured by acts of kindness and love.  Genuine love is a living, dynamic force empowered by the grace of God; it must be activated to thrive.  As a contemporary Christian song declares:  "Love is an action verb!"

Sometimes marriage requires sanctification and deep cleansing prayer to initiate forgiveness and restoration.  This requires hard work, honesty, trust, and faith in God to do His part in the healing process.  As couples let go of their defenses and learn to walk in grace they overcome many obstacles facing wholeness in their marriage.  I welcome any individual or couple who wants to improve or sanctify their marriage.  Sometimes a couple is looking for major cleansing, renewal and change.  Other couples seek help to create movement in a stable, yet stale marriage.  Whatever the request or need, I am honored to offer my services in the Lord. 

With best regards and blessings,

Tom Berscheid  __________

        "Remain alert, stand firm in your faith, 
               be courageous, be strong.

           Let all that you do be done in love." 

                                                (1 Corinthians 16:13)    ___________

(c)  Thomas Isaac Berscheid, MA, LMFT, CLC, Ordained Minister